What You Don’t Know About Juno
by Jaden
A dear family friend casually gave me a few unlabeled corked bottles of red wine recently. Opening the first bottle with some friends in Hollywood, we laughed as we caught the German stealing each of our fuller glasses. “Hey, that’s my glass!”
Without a label, without a price tag, we all sensed this wine was phenomenal. We guzzled it up and enjoyed it, knowing nothing about it.
“That wine you gave me is incredible, what’s the story?” I asked the giver. He was happy that I recognized its excellence and told me the interesting story of the European vines.
Grown on his small family-run vineyard in Sonoma county, an exclusive buyer slaps on a label and sells each bottle for $160 a pop.
I was moved by the giver’s humble quiet offering. He gave me this valuable gift (3 bottles, mind you, that’s $480 retail value!) with no explanation and no expectation of praise or recompense. All he said at the time was, “Here, have some bottles of wine.” And all I said was, “Thanks.” It was a beautiful motion.
Tonight, knowing the price, I am finishing off alone a second bottle that I had opened with a loved one. (Two small glasses, ok? Sheesh, calm down. Somebody has to finish it before it goes bad.)
I need a break! Everyday I write, write, write, chasing my silly dreams. Just stop! I told myself. Stop, sit down, and relax. You’re going crazy.
Ok. Ok. I’ll stop, for 11 minutes.
Sitting down with my special wine, I cracked open a book I had bought as a gift, one of those kinds of gifts with which I am having a hard time parting, The Book of Goddesses: A Celebration of the Divine Feminine, written and illustrated by Kris Waldherr.
Clearly, I am not resting, I am writing again, but I can’t help myself, that’s what I do. I write. I write and I write.
I was ranting earlier in a different post that I have postponed until I can put a positive spin on it — though racism is hard to spin positively. Once I post that diatribe, some fly-by commenter will probably tell me I need a shag again.
Looking at the Contents section of the Goddesses book, I was browsing to see about which goddess I wanted to read. Who would inspire me?
Juno, page 57, jumped out at me. Juno is a goddess? Who knew?!
Reading the chapter, it looks like the goddess
Juno worked her magick for screenwriter Ms. Cody with “bright offerings of money.”
“Juno was often invoked by young couples yearning for children, as well as by mothers laboring in childbirth.”
That sounds like a pitch for the movie Juno.
“Juno was believed to watch and protect all women from their first to last breath.”
To be honest, the title and weird name Juno had bugged me, until now. Reading about the goddess Juno, I can only assume Ms. Cody was well aware of the meaning when she chose the name and title for her screenplay. The depth of the name pleases me, as does the little coincidence that Ms. Cody, a woman, got rich and famous from invoking the goddess Juno in her work.
Forget the buckets of money and child-rearing, I think I am going to start writing the screenplay 
Hsi Wang Mu, based on the goddess of eternal life who dwells on Jade Mountain — and then I will live forever!
Here’s the story… Hsi Wang Mu used to be the goddess of plague and sickness, you see, but she goes on MTV’s Extreme Goddess Makeover.
“Let’s put a positive spin on that mortality stuff, eh, Ms. Mu? How about immortality instead? Death is death. Cup is half full or half empty, same thing, same cup, different marketing approach. You want people to feel good about dying.”
–”Ok. Sound good. You taste my peach; I give you tree tauwzan more year to live for being so nice.”
“You think I’m going to fall for that old trick? No thanks, Ms. Mu. You kind of remind me of this girl Eve we had in here last week from the Middle East. Eve and her friggin apples. Didn’t want her apples, don’t want your peach.”
–”Dat’s cuz you gay.”
“Funny. I’d rather have my own show than your peach. No offense, Ms. Mu. Ok, here, now, lay down and stop talking, let your mud mask dry. Hey J Maf, you doing the pedicure or what?”
.
Any wonder who was the man who gave me wine like it was water?
.
[Asian mask 
photo credit: cotaro70s]
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10 Responses to “What You Don’t Know About Juno”
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Heheh sounds like your protagonist is a LOLcat.
I loved Juno and it pleases me that Diablo Cody put some thought into the subtext. Makes it just a little bit sweeter :)
Sure, we’re all wondering who gave you the free wine! Last bottle I received as a gift came from Trader Joe’s (hey it’s the thought that counts, right?!) :-)
BTW, suggest to all readers who haven’t read it that you invest in a copy of the classic book “Mythology” by Edith Hamilton — if you don’t have it, if you’ve never read the Greek and Roman myths…a good overview, cross-reference and incredible idea generator…also points to source material.
Sure, he was Jesus! And you’ve just experienced a “happening”.
It seems like deriving a modern story from ancient mythology is always a good foundation for any writer. Most Greek mythological stories have great structure and superb insights into humanity.
I’ve always admired Albert Camus’ use of Sisyphus for his explanation of existentialism. Sisyphus continually pushes a boulder up a hill only for it to fall back down as he reaches the hill’s peak. He is damned to do this pointlessly absurd task for all of eternity and this is his “hell”. Camus’ point being that this is what life is realized to be to him.
If I were to use a myth then I would have to go with Prometheus. The intelligent trickster who stole fire from Zeus to give to man thereby helping all humanity excel. He was then to serve a punishment, from the Gods, of having his liver eaten out by an eagle everyday only for it to grow back the next morning for another round of eagle grubbin.
There are so many places to go with these type of stories and characters in a modern setting.
I haven’t seen the movie yet but it looks excellent and I’m looking forward to it. Ever since I took classical mythology, I’ve had a newfound appreciation for the use of gods and goddesses and other mythological antiquities in storytelling. It’s always fun to research and uncover the hidden meanings.
Jess — What is a LOLcat? I have some ideas, but I’d rather you say it first.
Shaner — Ick! Eagles eating this guy’s liver everyday? Not sure that is a movie I want to see. Stealing the fire for the people, that’s very Robin Hood. Great mini Greek mythos lesson. I definitely want to learn more. One thing I do know is that the Greeks took lots of their stories from other earlier civilizations and changed the names. It’s amazing how certain stories ring true for all of humanity throughout the millennium. My goal is to resonate like that with new stories.
Muzz — Thanks for the good book suggestion. Yeah, I have been so inspired just browsing through the book I mention in this post. Really cool inspiring stories. Yeah, the bottles I buy myself are also from Trader Joe’s, ranging from the fine Charles Shaw 2.99 to 17.99 if the company is real special.
Melissa — If I ever met a real living goddess, it was you!
Jaden,
Haven’t seen Juno yet. But when your movie comes out I’ll watch it!
That sounds like a good book your reading. Maybe I’ll check it out. Have you heard of The Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets, by Barbara G. Walker. It would be a great resource for screenwriting.
I think the world is waiting for our spin on the feminine.
Oh, I did read that Book by Edith Hamilton that Muzz suggested. It is a good resource.
Hi Ellen! Thanks for visiting.
I’ve seen that book if Melissa has it — Melissa? It sounds familiar. Sounds like something I would have bought as a gift, browsed, and passed on to the lucky birthday girl.
I’m so glad you will come watch my movie. Big smiles here. 1 Ticket reserved! I’ll use that in my self-promotion marketing letters when I send out the script.
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