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In the Spotlight
When To Call It Quits
by Jaden
When do you call it quits?
For actors in Hollywood, this is the big question after many painful days or years of hunger and rejection.
Actors are not the only ones asking when to throw in the towel.
In our endeavors and relationships, we all have points of frustration when we ask ourselves: Why? Why am I doing this? Should I even bother? What’s the point? Will there be light at the end of this tunnel?
Usually, at that point when you are standing on a cliff pondering your entire existence and self worth, something happens. Something happens that pushes you in one direction or another.
Maybe someone tells you that you are the worst writer on earth, your computer dies ten minutes later, and you are too broke to buy a new one.
Or maybe someone tells you how you have inspired them and how important you are in their life, you make a new friend, and you learn something life-changing.
We are always affecting people positively or negatively, but often we don’t know it.
From my little map widget, I can see visitors to my site from Argentina, Brazil, Colombia, Turkey, and South Africa; who are you people? Say hello. I want to know you and learn about your country. Khorasan? I have never heard of this place — are you an American soldier trying to figure out how to write a screenplay or a woman seeking a new life?
My mysterious visitors are silent. I know Hollywood is geographically and culturally far away from these places. I can only guess that I am providing them with some kind of useful information or fulfillment, which is why they visit.
As nice as feedback and approval can be, we cannot rely wholly on others for guidance or self-esteem. I have seen great individuals shot down by idiots and I have seen idiots placed on pedestals by bigger idiots. Being loved by the masses or hated by a few is no indication of your true essence. Almost all successful artists have stories of countless rejections and struggling years, hence the “starving artist” cliché.
Your drive to continue on your path has to come from inside yourself.
Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh gave up his life before he gave up his art. He was an outcast and didn’t fit in anywhere. He could not hold a job. He moved a lot. He was rejected by everyone. He said stupid awkward things that isolated him from people. I mean, the guy cut off his ear and mailed it to a girl! He was eccentric and weird. His art did not become known or valuable until his gallery-owning relatives decided to sell it after he died in poverty.
When do you quit?
If you do not love what you are doing, once you have lined up something else to sustain your living, I suggest quitting. Becoming disgruntled and dissatisfied does not benefit anyone.
If you love what you do: never quit. Figure out how to make it work in your life so that you are secure. By being happy, you will be able to spread joy and knowledge.
If you subtract from your life the one thing that truly gives you joy because it is causing you hardship, what do you really have? Empty comfort? No thanks.
Van Gogh may have died miserably thinking he was the biggest loneliest loser on earth, but by doing what he loved until his dying day, he has touched more people than he could have ever imagined. That’s beautiful.
As a reminder of our connectivity and importance through the ages and distances, below is beautiful song written by Don McLean, 1971, about artist Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890).
“Vincent”
Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer’s day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.
Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they’ll listen now.
Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning fields of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand.
Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they’ll listen now.
For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.
Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can’t forget.
Like the strangers that you’ve met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.
Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they’re not listening still.
Perhaps they never will…
.
.
{Woman Sitting 
photo credit: tanakawho }
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18 Responses to “When To Call It Quits”
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::: whispers :::
This is your best post to date.
When to call it quits? In my opinion, it’s when you’ve jumped the proverbial shark.
That is…when you’ve peaked, you’ve run of out fresh ideas, and you’re slowly descending into mediocrity and it’s no longer fun.
For anyone not familiar with the experssion “Jump the Shark”, I’d highly recommend reading John Hein’s book with the same title. It’s quite funny, but it also makes a good point.
MELISSA — :::whispers back:::: Thank you.
FRIAR — You bring up an interesting point. It can be such a disappointment to see our favorite musicians or filmmakers or actors or painters or writers start putting out crap. The thing is, I would never tell them to stop because usually, 10 or 20 or 30 years down the line, they put out some masterpiece, and then they die. Had they ever quit, that one masterpiece would not exist. So even though I agree it is painful to watch years of crap be unloaded on us by famous artists (even though there is still a market for that crap too), for that one masterpiece, it is worth it.
I always cheer whenever a has-been performer makes one last good comeback. Perhaps that means they haven’t completely jumped the shark yet.
Mabye if you’re an artist and you’re in a slump, you need to give yourself a “time out”. Give it a rest for a while..and you’ll come back fresh again.
Friar, that sounds like a fair compromise. You don’t have to quit completely if you are off the mark, but just go away for a while, get inspired, learn something new, and come back when you stop sucking turdballs.
Sucking turdballs….HAHAHAH :-)
Jaden, you’re all right!
I love it when bloggers aren’t afraid to laugh and dont’ take themselves so seriously.
@Friar, American Idol just jumped the shark last week!
@Melissa
Oh, no. I missed it…what happened?
I spotted a fin swimming around that show a few months ago…it was due to happen sooner or later.
Whatever will poor Simon do now?
Thank you Jaden for this post! It was great and it’s helping with some stuff I’m currently going through.
Beautiful post. I agree: you quit when you don’t love doing it anymore, whatever the “it” is for you. In my case, that’s writing.
I think it all boils down to goals. Obviously, the long term goal of most writers is to be published; or, for screenwriters, to see their movies in the theater. But–in my opinion, anyway–the process of writing itself has to be more important. The joy and release you get from doing the initial draft, from tapping into those secret places inside of you; the knowledge that comes from having to do research for accuracy; the self-improvement that comes with the editing process. Those things must be goals in and of themselves.
When they’re not, when the most important goal is “making it”, that’s when the emptiness comes. It’s when the writing becomes ONLY about what is marketable and what will sell. And God knows we’ve got enough of that kind of writing out there already.
Basically, it all boils down to when it stops being fun.
That’s the best indicator, I think.
Friar & RJ — I agree. Well articulated. Thanks.
Jaden: Please don’t be quitting. I love your blog, love the insightful, thoughtful writing.
Raj — Thank you.
Personal goals are absolutely valid! Having fun, too. And “value” vs “trash.”
True true true!
When I feel like quitting, when it seems like the same old dreck gets published/produced, when I want to throw the latest novel across the room or ask for my money back at the theater, I re-read favorite books and watch favorite movies…
and volunteer to do something that helps other people…
And then I start writing again.
And then I watch “Sullivan’s Travels” again. I was lucky enough to have taken a script analysis class taught by the great Frank Daniel — his generosity and vision about film and life have inspired me to keep going with all types of writing over the years.
As I told a friend (a well-known writer who was complaining about the changing markets) perhaps my perfect reader has not yet been born! :-)
Thanks for this post. Good topic.
Muzz — Nice points. I feel the same. When I am saddened by the crap that is put out, I remember the greats and select artists throughout time who I admire, who have unique expressions, who have truly added something beautiful to the world, and I forge ahead, hopeful that one day I will be to others what my favorites were to me.
I really like what you say, “perhaps my perfect reader has not yet been born!” Interesting perspective.
This was a lovely and inspiring post Jaden! If everyone would follow your advice here, the world would be a happier place. For some, calling it quits whether it be a job, a marriage, a relationship, an addiction, fear can be a powerful thing.
I’ve always absolutely loved the song Vincent as well.
Thanks for this most elequently written post Jaden….C’était Magnifique!
Jan — Merci!