Take a Beating and Like It:
Accepting Criticism Gracefully
by Jaden
In whatever field you are writing, you will encounter negative feedback and constructive criticism — if you are lucky!
Some Internet writers put up a massive defense against negative comments on their posts. This steals the thunder of whatever it was they were saying. If the idea was mostly accurate, faithful readers will come to defend — let them duke it out on your behalf.
If the majority of readers are saying: “Hey buddy, you are way off base;” face it, majority rules: you blew it. Instead of battling to your death like a fool, be big enough to admit when you are wrong. If you can’t learn from your mistakes, you’re doomed to repeat them.
Whether you erred or not, you know you’ve made it big when people lambaste you in public forums. Be happy that you’re doing something right, otherwise no one would care.
When it comes to Hollywood, whether you are a screenwriter, filmmaker or actor, critics are scathing and industry professionals are insensitively aloof. Not polite or tactful as receptors of entertainment or in business dealings, the critics say more than is necessary, and industry professionals don’t tell you enough.
When you submit a script to a friend or stranger in the industry, blessed be the day you get feedback. Hollywood is Ignore City. Phone calls and emails go unanswered. What’s worse is that you don’t know if they ever read your material at all. Your Oscar winning script could have gone straight to the trash without a single eye ever glossing over it. Or maybe they did read it and thought it was so embarrassingly awful they decided to ignore you instead of doing the kind favor of explaining your shortcomings.
The few times a person cares enough to tell you where your writing or story fail (this goes for auditioning and acting too) — wooh-wee is that a horse pill to swallow!
Criticism is a compliment. You should be flattered. It means people care enough about you to say something. They see potential in you and think you can do better. Be thankful that people have taken time out of their day to help you succeed. Feedback is a great thing. Apply it to your life and your work the best you can.
To learn, expand, and grow, you need to be wrong sometimes.
My method of dealing with criticism goes like this:
What do you think of this? No, I like it my way better. I’m right. I’m right. I’m right. Oh. Ok. I see your point. Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, I was being stubborn.
We all do it. We are all right. It’s ok to be wrong sometimes.
(Intelligent debates and jackass comments are welcome at my site.)
Comments
7 Responses to “Take a Beating and Like It:
Accepting Criticism Gracefully”
Got something to say?
Subscribe
-
-
Content RSS
Well, you’re wrong, I just criticize because I think something is stupid. Just kidding. :p Yep, jackass comments +1.
Jaden,
First, thanks for stopping by my site, and thanks for your kind words!
Next – this post couldn’t be more timely for me. I’m not writing for a screenplay (at least, not yet!), but I do encounter people criticizing things I do at my site. Just today, I put up something with a little silliness to lighten the mood. The post still deals with a serious topic, but some people are letting me know (so far, only privately) that they don’t think any levity belongs on a site about health.
So time will tell – majority rules, as you say! If most hate it, I’ll stick to being 99% serious. If they like it, then I’ll have found a new way to present this kind of information. I usually look forward to people’s feedback in real life and online, but it definitely strikes a nerve if there’s TOO much negativity!
Thanks for keeping my head screwed on straight. Any feedback means that people actually took the time to read your stuff, which is always a good thing!
to JAMES: *Laughing*
to TEE: Personally, I am for humor. Life is painfully hard without a sense of humor. Happiness requires it. I’d rather not have the sticks-in-the-mud as my regular visitors anyway. I’d rather have visitors with a sense of humor. It is YOUR site and you are trying to do a good thing and spread important helpful information in a positive fun way. For your own happiness, you need to be true to yourself and use your own voice to be successful. We can save our stuffiness for our office jobs. If you have a good sense of humor — let it shine! Don’t let anyone kick it out of you. I have one of the illnesses on your site and it has caused me excruciating pain throughout my life, if you could bring levity to it or make some jokes — I’m all for it.
Great article! I started out with my commenting system under moderation, but I wanted people to react and have their comments posted in real-time, as you do here. I think if we wanted to get people’s reactions, we should be prepared to see both positive and negative comments, while I would still frown upon seeing insulting remarks, I would still allow it, the only exception is when someone posted something about viagra and the link to the site…
Well criticism sure can be hard to swallow, and some never recover from it at all. Many a Hollywood star has fallen under the harsh scrutiny of criticism.
But I find that there’s a whole lot to gain by accepting people’s feedback, and appreciating the fact that they’ve taken the time to give it to you, as long as they’re not the paparazzi.
I do think that creative people need to develop a discerning mind though, because there are those negative energy types out there who will shoot down anything. And, sometimes a critique is a matter of opinion.
Art films are a great example. A lover of Hollywood blockbusters might shoot those films down as being too far out or experimental, but there’s a niche that will love them!
So I say take it all but consider the source! Great food for thought here. I recently wrote a couple of posts about giving and receiving criticism, but didn’t touch on dealing with aftermath, which you’ve done nicely here Lady J.
to MELISSA: Great points. Thanks for adding them.
to JED: Yeah, I got that hit of viagra ads too. Annoying.
I agree we do need to learn from our mistakes. So many people feel that they’re right all the time and those are the type of people nobody likes to be around. Life itself is a learning process and I think we can all glean from one another’s wisdom. Everyone is different and we each know a little more, or less, than some others.
So far, I haven’t had any really ugly comments on my blog (and I’m so thankful for that!). I’m not a cruel person, but prefer a pleasant atmosphere. The few times I’ve received criticism from editors or my blog readers, their words have been constructive, gentle, and have taught me a great deal. I’ve become a better writer/blogger because of their suggestions. I know I’m not the best, but I’m learning and growing and gleaning all along the way. :-)
And…. thanks for your nice comment on my site, Jaden, I appreciate it!
Smiles,
Michele