HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!
by Jaden
First Sunset ~ January 1 2009 ~ California Pacific Ocean
Happy New Year fellow readers, writers, and filmmakers!
Choose a silhouette from the above image of the first sunset of January 1, 2009. You may click on the image to see an enlarged version for more detail.
Look closely at the image: there is a dog, there are people standing alone, there are people whose backs are against each other, and there are groups.
From only a dark figure, you can tell an entire story.
In the comments section, write an internal monologue for the individual you select; write a fiction paragraph in first person narrative from the perspective of the character.
Do your best to write something that has absolutely nothing to do with your own personal life; create something entirely fictitious.
What are the secret thoughts of your character as he or she watches the first sun go down over the horizon? Hopes? Regrets? Confusion? Premonition? Loneliness? Happiness?
Be creative!
It should look like this:
EXT. BEACH — SUNSET
BAKER, a 39-year-old portly man, stands alone on the beach watching couples holding hands, families laughing, and a dog kicking dirt over its dookie.
BAKER (VO)
What’s the worse that can happen? She says no. I can…
Describe your scene, your character, and then give the character’s internal dialog. EXT. = Exterior / Outdoors. (VO) = Voice Over.
Good luck!
Wishing you joy, love, and fulfillment for 2009.
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Ext. Beach Sunset
Jenifer stares not at the hallmarkesque sunset, but the warm dark pile she has recently stepped in. Jenny is a young woman who has been down on her luck since the start of the new year, her appearance would agree.
JEN (VO)
Aw, what the shit is that? Is that dog shit I just stepped in? Ugh it’s between my toes, that’s disgusting. And what is that over there? Is that a jellyfish or did a dog leave some strange new sort of present?
Jenny walks around in tiny circles grinding her feet into the sand to get rid of the dog poop. She takes a moment to look around at fellow beach goers and begins staring at the dogs in contempt.
Also.
happy new year and holidays
Adam — Thank you.
Laughing… Looks like you chose the person just off to the right of the sun, the one looking down. She’s not having a good January 1st.
I will add to your story using the guy to the right of her.
EXT. BEACH — SUNSET
As Jen unsuccessfully tries to get the shit off of her shoe, JIMBO watches her and laughs to himself.
JIMBO (VO)
What a mess… but she’s got a nice rack.
Jimbo grabs a stick from the nearby sea debris and runs over to help Jen.
JIMBO
Let me help you.
Jen is embarrassed and turns around.
JEN
No. No. No. It’s ok. I got it.
Jimbo tries to grab her foot and scrape the poop, but Jen jerks away in a way that the poop flies in Jimbo’s face and Jen falls to the ground. Jimbo helps her up as she laughs at him.
JIMBO
What?
JEN
There’s shit on your face. Here, come ‘ere.
Jen leads Jimbo to the sea and tries to wipe the poop off of Jimbo’s face. He splashes her with water in her face.
————-Ok, someone else can take it from here if they want.————-
Oooh! Great fun!!!
EXT. BEACH – SUNSET
Garkblat stands behind the group of beach bums, gazing to the right of the setting sun, his hands hidden inside his pockets.
GARKBLAT (VO)
At last! My mission on this smelly, backwards, insignificant planet is finally completed! A mere forty-seven earth seconds before the mothership arrives to bring me home…
He pulls his hands out of his pockets and looks at them surreptitiously. His skin ‘melts’ away slowly, revealing green, scaly skin beneath. He stuffs them quickly back in to his pockets.
GARKBLAT (VO)
And just in time, too! My humanoid exodermis layer is disintegrating!
He steps closer to the surf, eyes still fixed on the heavens, unaware that he is creeping ever closer towards where Jen and Jimbo are splashing in the waves.
_______________
RJ Keller — Garkblat — great name choice! :-)
Oh goodness, where will we go from here? What will happen now? Hope someone adds something good.
EXT. BEACH — SUNSET
CHRIS, a 58 year old patriarch, stands at a distance watching the sun set, ignoring the people and trying to take in the beauty of the scene, but is too pensive to be impressed.
CHRIS (VO)
Forty years… This is the first time in forty years. I thought we’d have longer. Sixty, seventy… Right now I just wish we had one more. You would’ve loved this one. Then again, you say that all the time. Except when it’s cloudy. But especially that year you had that cold. You *tried* to make me feel bad had I said we stay home. But I wouldn’t deny you of this pleasure. I knew it’s what you loved to do, and you knew I wouldn’t let you stay home ever since that first time I brought you out here.
But this is the first time–in forty years–I’m here without you… and it’s killing me inside not having you walk and watch this with me. CJ and the kids offered to come along, but… I just wanted to share… well… be alone. Try to remember the old days… Just you and me… I didn’t want to come here. I really didn’t. But I did it for you. I know you would if it were me.
CHRIS wipes a tear from his eye and looks around to make sure no one is watching. He attempts a smile.
CHRIS (VO)
I’m such a baby. But this sure is beautiful. I’m glad other people are appreciating it too. (Laughs) And some girl stepped in poop…
(sighs) One more year… God I miss you…
Wow, I guess my timing was a bit off… perhaps I should’ve picked another person to write about since RJ made that person I chose an alien.
t.sterling — There are plenty of shadows to go around. Maybe the UFO will come down for Garkblat with Chris’s beloved on it?
EXT. BEACH–SUNSET
From, apparently, the sun, a long metalic-reptillian tube extends and stops a few feet from GARKBLAT, JIMBO, and JEN with CHRIS a few feet behind them. The dog begins barking as other beach-goers turn to look at this strange tube. JIMBO and JEN turn to look at the changing GARKBLAT in horror.
JEN
What the–
JIMBO
Oh my…
GARKBLAT
Huzzah!
From out of the tube comes a green plasma goo that encases the group in a bubble, and begins to bring them into the tube. The bubble extends to CHRIS and grabs him up to his arms.
CHRIS (VO)
What… is… going…
The bubble immediately begins to get sucked into the tube. Though unharmed, JEN and JIMBO begins screaming in terror, while GARKBLAT is disturbed to be bringing guests.
GARKBLAT (VO)
Ack! Vile vermon. I shall deal with this once we return to the ship.
As the bubble is sucked into the tube, CHRIS is dragged through the sand and eventually dropped after being airborne. Beach-goers are both screaming in terror or scared stiff watching. The dog continues barking and runs to CHRIS to lick his gooey arms.
CHRIS (VO)
Sara… I wish you were here so I could tell you were right. That weird guy down the street really was an alien.
CHRIS passes out. The tube goes back into “the sun.”
____________________
t.sterling — Laughing here. Nice save!
@jaden– I didn’t want to leave on a downer or have anyone think I was depressed.
t.sterling — Ah-ha! Ye is talented in drama, comedy, and sci-fi.
Happy New Year Jaden! Oh how I miss my beloved Pacific Ocean. What a wonderful writing prompt to begin the year. Just wanted to pop in and say Hello and got the extra treat of a taste of home. :-)
EXT. BEACH – SUNSET
NIC, late 40′s, strolls along the beach avoiding eye contact with the pedestrians that litter the area
NIC (V.O.)
What the hell are these people doing on my property? I didn’t buy an oceanfront timeshare just to have these filthy tourists tread through my rightfully owned grains of sand. This is bullshit if I’ve ever seen it. As soon as I get back to Atlanta, I’m going to kill my mortage broker. I know just how I’ll do it too. I’m gonna use whatever the hell that damn thing was that Chigurh guy used in No Country For Old Men…
Nic stops, noticing a fish flopping on the shore, trying to get back into the water. He promptly stamps his foot on the fishes head.
NIC (V.O.)
(cont’d)
Just like stompin’ fish heads. The cops’ll never figure it out. I highly doubt there’s been a copycat killer since the movie’s release….
Nic looks up and notices a woman scraping dog shit from her shoe. Disgusted, he turns back towards his condo in defeat.
NIC (V.O.)
(cont’d)
Fuck the broker, I’m setting this mother ablaze, tonight. Count on it, dog shit woman. At midnight tonight, my insurance will pay the premium for pestering pedestrians.
Karen Swim — Thanks for visiting us. Happy New Year to you!
Shane — Oooooh, nice one. Dark twisted. Yours is in the tone of the One Month script I wrote. Lots going on here. Good job writing a person’s internal monologue in a very realistic way. Internal monologues often can be dark because they are the words we don’t utter out loud. And then external things, like the fish, come into the realm as well. Really good.
We sure have covered many genres: mystery thriller (potentially horror), drama, sci-fi, romance…
EXT. BEACH — SUNSET
RYAN, an athletic male in his early 20s, strolls the beach with his girlfriend, RACHEL, a swimsuit model in her early 20s, as they gazes at the sunset.
RYAN (VO)
Do I do it tonight? Ummm…I don’t know? What are we doing tonight? Oh, yeah! We’re suppose to meet up with Chad and Mel at that restaurant.
RACHEL
Honey?…
RYAN (VO)
I don’t know? I’ll wait until next week….maybe? –
Annoyed, RACHEL looks at RYAN.
CU – RACHEL’S FACE
RACHEL
Honey?….Hey!
RYAN is startled.
CU – RYAN’S FACE
RYAN
Yes?
RACHEL looks at RYAN with concern.
CU – RACHEL’S FACE
RACHEL
What’s wrong? You look a little nervous or scared. What’s going on?
CU – RYAN’S FACE
RYAN
Ummmmmm — nothing — just thinking.
CU – RACHEL’S FACE
RACHEL
Thinking ’bout what?
CU – RYAN’S FACE
RYAN
Ummm — ummm — umm –
CU – RACHEL’S FACE
RACHEL
Com’on, tell me! Why aren’t you talking?
CU – IMMENSE SHINING DIAMOND RING
CU – TEAR FALLS FROM RACHEL’S RIGHT EYE
CU – RACHEL’S JOYFUL SMILE
————————————————————————————
Happy New Year, Jaden! I don’t know how well this is. I thought of taking out that Screenwriting for Dummies book and see if I could add a little more to the assignment. Let me know if it works or if I misplaced some of the tags.
SizzlyP — Heck Yeah! You run with it… Going big!
Great concise descriptions of your characters.
This is really funny and natural brain wave activity, “What are we doing tonight? Oh, yeah! We’re…” Good job.
Just so that other readers are clear about your CU usage, I want to explain for them…
CU [close up] would only be in the script for a few reasons:
1) You are the director and therefore this is your shooting script.
2) It is a shooting script prepared for film production.
3) It is absolutely crucial to understanding the story.
When writing scripts FOR SALE, we must limit directorial type instructions in the script, only adding those absolutely necessary to the story. You want your reader (agents, producers, actors, directors…) to be absorbed in the story, not distracted by the technicalities, most of which will be obvious to them.
Extensive details on how to shoot, how to deliver lines, how to dress, how to set the scene, should be left up to the people who do those jobs, respectively the director, the actor, the costumer, and the set production, and so on. You want to write your screenplay as tight and vibrant as possible.
In Sizzling Popcorn’s example, we will assume that he is the director because that’s how we roll ’round here — a do-it-yourself kind of gang. ;-)
Tee-hee… I’m in a gang…. :oD
Indeed you are Indoob. We are coming upon your month of February when you shall be the leader of the gang. Came up fast, didn’t it?!
That was really fun everyone. Thanks for participating.
I’m so bad at re-re-re-replying. Is it normal to be nervous to be leader of a gang? I mean it’s different when it’s my own blog. But yeah, I guess I’m ready. I feel like I’m being pushed out on stage from behind the curtain. Again, sorry for the late responses.