Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Move to Hollywood
by Dirtbag
Put a bunch of rats in a small cage and what do you think happens?
photo credit: jurvetson
1) Los Angeles is rated number one as America’s “Most Polluted City” by Forbes.
2) You will have plenty of time to apply makeup, eat breakfast, read the newspaper, email your mom, and build your website while sitting in traffic driving to your job as Assistant to the Receptionist.
3) With 10,000,000 friendly people in Los Angeles, if one stabs you in the back you still have 9,999,999 to go.
4) Cost of living, gas, and homes are inflated, just like every woman’s breasts.
5) You like the sunshine? It never rains. Your brain will be in a drought, permanently.
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9 Responses to “Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Move to Hollywood”
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Yes, I like the sunshine!
I feel that I probably wouldn’t have too much of a problem living in a climate where it hardly rains (or snows). I think I could definately live with the LA weather–mostly sunshine and warm temps! Me, rain, and snow does not always mix well, lol.
I enjoyed your top 5 list Dirtbag.
The closest I got to Hollywood was at Joshua Tree National Park. I was at this scenic lookout, overlooking Palm Springs and the San Bernardino Valley
You could barely see the moutains across the valley, due to the smog that blew in from L.A…over ONE HUNDRED MILES AWAY!
That kind of turned me off wanting to visit the city…Instead I headed north to Death Valley and Yosemite…to commune with nature and eat nuts and berries…
Friar — Excellent choices! Now you comprehend the deeper meaning of, “Run, Forest, Run!” It’s like: Get the F out of LA and run to the forest, run!
Jan — Thanks, on behalf of Dirtbag.
I like the list, especially #4 because everybody out there has some kind of plastic surgery or enhancement.
@Jaden
I feel the same way about Toronto…! :-)
@Sizzling Popcorn
I hear they have border patrols on the state line. Apparently they don’t let anyone into Southern California unless they’re blonde, beautiful, slim and have white teeth.
Friar — With a big blond wig, I slipped in, and once I was inside, I donated the hair to a malnutritioned model who lost hers.
SizzlyP — When I first moved to Hollywood, it was definitely the plastic surgery that shocked me most. The three worst were 1) Super old lady with squeegy face and enormous breasts in this old timer historic restaurant on a date with a super old dude. 2) Mid 40s lady ripped muscles thin with these Rocky Mountain boobs. 3) The saddest was this gorgeous young tall girl with a terrible nose job; no matter what her nose was before, it had to be a million times more beautiful in its natural state than the upturned scarred mess it became. Very sad.
Thanx a lot Jaden I was planning on going to bed, but if I do I will have nightmares about those ugly rats. YUCK.
Hey, I’d rather be in CA than here in Boston where if you don’t like the weather just wait a few minutes because it will change and mostly likely for the worst.
“Cost of living, gas, and homes are inflated” I can relate, it’s the same here.
Jaden you know me, I am obsessed with fake boobs. I love them! They photograph so well. Too bad mine are huge and natural. Poor little me. lol
Have a nice night. XOXO-Brunette Bombshell
lol, I hope Dirtbag doesn’t have a sideline as a travel or real estate agent ;)
I guess in a place where you earn your income ‘pretending’, becoming artificial isn’t too far of a stretch.
Brunette Bombshell & Nanu — Thanks for the morning laughs! Dirtbag does travel but is not a travel agent. Dirtbag likes breasts of all sizes, small and large, but not so much the fakes.