Sunday Picture Post 24 / How to be Funny
photo credit: Chris(sy) W
For The Sunday Picture Post, we are going to flip upside-down the saying: “A picture is worth a thousand words.” Thousands of words are great if you are writing a novel, but if you are writing a screenplay, you need to do the opposite and be as concise as possible.
Each Sunday I will post a picture. For your screenwriting practice in brevity, in the comments section, please post one or all of the following:
- A title for this movie
- 1 word describing the theme, mood, or scene
- 1 sentence to describe the scene
- A pitch to sell the entire movie
The more colorful and creative you are, the better! Use any genre.
A good screenwriter is laconic, using a few words to say a lot.
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SCREENWRITING TIP OF THE DAY: HOW TO BE FUNNY
The line between what is funny and what is offensive is almost invisible.
Here you are, making the best jokes of your life, but you either get blank stares, or people shrink away with embarrassment, or you get violent death threats, or the public boycotts your movie.
Why don’t they get your jokes?
It happens to me regularly when I intend to deliver a compliment, or try to explain something, or God forbid, crack a joke and the people completely misunderstand me; the results are disastrous.
My intentions are good; my heart is in the right place; what went wrong?
I figured out one possible reason.
This week, I reread an uplifting and enlightening book I picked up a long time ago, Comedy Writing Step by Step: How to Write and Sell Your Sense of Humor by Gene Perret who wrote jokes for Bob Hope and Phyllis Diller. I highly recommend this book.
The key: SEE, RECOGNIZE, and ACCEPT things as they are.
Anything can be turned into comedy: light bulbs, driveways, obesity, politics, trends, health issues, mother-in-laws, bad dates, and death. The trick is talking about the topic in a way that everyone can relate; you have to get outside of your own head and into those of your target audience.
Perret gives the example of balding.
He said, if you make a joke about balding to a guy who has not noticed he is balding and therefore certainly has not accepted it, he is going to be offended.
Whereas, on the other hand, if you make a joke about balding to someone who has seen and accepted it, you will get a laugh out of them.
When Perret had to attach a medical instrument to his body, but he was too hairy for the tape, his daughter told him to attach it to his head, where there was no hair. That got a laugh out of his whole family during a really tough time because Perret had already seen, recognized, and accepted his hairiness, balding, and health issue.
One-liners in public give you limited time to make your point, so you have to make sure you are coming from a commonly accepted place that everyone can understand.
You have to recognize what your audience sees, recognizes, and accepts, whether it is a creative executive who is reading your script or a drunk girl listening to your spiel at the bar, you must tailor your humor to a common ground that can be understood by someone who is not inside your head, not seeing what you have seen, not knowing what you know.
With writing, you have more time to build up a joke or a story, and you can edit as necessary. The length of a movie or a book allows you more freedom to be different and open a window to a new world. Still people need to be able to relate.
When you are live on the spot, maybe you only have 10 seconds to impress someone, you have to make sure that everyone is following your train of thought. You can’t just throw something out of the dark recesses of your brain and except everyone to know about what you are talking.
Every time I launch some random thought into the air, people assume the absolute opposite of what I intended; they come to a conclusion based on what is inside their head, not mine.
Instead of offending people, you want to relieve the tension of a person’s insecurities and frustrations; the similar things we suffer and enjoy are our common ground.
Laughter is a release of tension.
People who naturally know the common ground are generally well-loved. Understanding what is common ground is what makes a great comedian (or politician, for that matter). If you haven’t yet, check out The Deep Friar who is very good at writing funny things to which we can all relate.
Know your audience.
See, recognize, and accept the reality of what your audience sees, recognizes, and accepts.
Interview with Artist Mark Yates
Better Parking, Better Perspective
by Jaden
You have a charming house near the famous Hollywood sign, great friends, and always seem happy.
Despite your hands and legs not functioning properly, you are an international traveler, accomplished sculptor, storyboard artist, and now director.
Considering how successful you are, using the words disabled or handicapped feels wrong when I am talking to you, but you do have one of those blue cards hanging from your mirror, don’t you?
Do you like getting rock star parking everywhere you go in Hollywood?
I get it everywhere I go on earth. I’d choose ‘flight’ over ‘invisibility’ in most cases but when it comes to being a rock star I would choose ‘invisibility’ every time.
What is the name of your physical condition?
It’s called being ‘Tetraplegic’ but I’m called ‘Incomplete’ because I had some nerve recovery. I broke C5 and C6, which are the 5th and 6th vertebrae in your neck. The nerves inside them were the damaged ones. They pretty much control everything from that point down.
How and when did it happen?
I was being a kid on a bike. I did the perfect half-somersault off of a ramp.
Have you ever felt defeated or have you always had a positive outlook?
I suppose I’ve always had a positive outlook. Everything is an adventure. I had a time when my self-confidence was pretty low. The best way to learn how to swim is to just leap in right. It’s just not like me to feel defeated.
While directing, have you encountered any prejudice or obstacles because of the wheelchair?
Everyone is reassuringly good about it. My faith in human nature is constantly given a little boost.
How about in Hollywood in general?
Even total assholes are cool about my chair. It does get a bit old though on a dance floor constantly being fondled.
When did you start drawing?
I remember now drawing a car in hospital and thinking it was actually quite amazing. 
I think that’s when I started to consider it as anything other than doodling. My grandfather taught the advanced life drawing students at the Royal College of Art in London. Both him and my Dad were very encouraging.
For what movies have you done storyboards?
I don’t generally draw movies unless it’s a friend I’m working with. I much prefer the one-day turn around of a 30 second commercial. The last movie I drew was Friday the 13th, the one before that was 300.
How do you storyboard? Working straight from the script alone or with a director’s guidance?
The director’s guidance is always good to hear. You have to hear the rules before you disregard them.
When storyboarding, do you notice anything screenwriters do with their scripts that annoys you?
I always find it amusing when a writer has to explain how the audience is feeling in a particular moment of their script. It generally means that they won’t be.
Is there anything a screenwriter should do that would enhance their script and facilitate storyboarding?
To get a story that is as clear in part as it is as a whole, what more could one ask?
Tell me about your experience of moving from storyboarding at a desk to the active world of directing.
I was a pretty active storyboard artist but after drawing 300 I realized that unless I made a drastic change I was going to die at my desk drawing someone else’s stuff. When I draw I am in the drawing, living out what was going on in the scene. It got to the stage where after a dozen years of that, that it was not enough anymore. As a music video director I could shoot my own ideas my own way. Also being surrounded by so many people who are there to help you is the opposite of the lonely drawing board. It feels like a natural progression and the right thing to be doing.
What projects have you directed?
Just the [Chicane] music video from last April and I just got back from 3 1/2 months in Austin shooting 2nd unit on Friday the 13th with director Marcus Nispel.
On what projects are you currently working, if you can say?
The next thing is helping Marcus with the edit on Friday the 13th. There are some re-shoots scheduled maybe for November. It’s released February 13, 2009, a Friday of course. I have been really taken back by the kindness, faith, opportunity and trust shown by my friend Marcus Nispel. He directed the Texas Chainsaw movie and also Pathfinder but I have worked on commercials for him for many years. What more could you be given by a friend than the freedom to create your art.
When a person once asked you why and how you are always in such good spirits, I heard you said, “I don’t wake up happy everyday, I choose to be happy.” Is that true?
I want to know what bastard has been spreading such nasty rumors about me! I am always happy damn it!
Sunday Picture Post 16 / Upkeep
photo credit: iowa_spirit_walker
For The Sunday Picture Post, we are going to flip upside-down the saying: “A picture is worth a thousand words.” Thousands of words are great if you are writing a novel, but if you are writing a screenplay, you need to do the opposite and be as concise as possible.
Each Sunday I will post a picture. For your screenwriting practice in brevity, in the comments section, please post one or all of the following:
- A title for this movie
- 1 word describing the theme, mood, or scene
- 1 sentence to describe the scene
- A pitch to sell the entire movie
The more colorful and creative you are, the better! Use any genre.
A good screenwriter is laconic, using a few words to say a lot.
SCREENWRITING TIP OF THE DAY: UPKEEP
For lawyers and doctors, it is mandatory by law and industry to continue learning, for which we are thankful because our lives occasionally depend on these people and what they know.
Writers also affect people’s lives greatly, yet screenwriters and novelists do not have anyone to say to them, “Learn and stay current on industry breakthroughs, or you will be disbarred!”
It is up to writers to educate and improve on their own or one day the public might disbar them by no longer buying their product.
If you neglect a house, it does not stay the same, it deteriorates.
What is popular and fabulously new will one day be old and tragically unhip.
Time and nature bury that which goes without maintenance.
Learn, be curious and open-minded; it will extend your career.
Sexist America, Racist Hollywood
by Jaden
Since the dawn of my website Screenwriting for Hollywood, I wanted to write about prejudice in Hollywood, but was advised against it.
Good table manners, right? Do not discuss politics, religion, money, or sex.
Uh oh, here we go…
With America’s most controversial election on the horizon, what better time to talk about racism and sexism in Hollywood?
Reality is not what you see on the screen. Even shows that call themselves “reality shows” are selective and manipulating.
Movies and TV do not accurately reflect America’s population when it comes to race, gender, career, and crime. Characters are often unrealistic stereotypes that aid to suppress certain groups of people.
Due to this year’s presidential candidates, I have heard many racist and sexist jokes. My first thought is: Clearly, you didn’t go to college. Yet, truth is, a lot of these people did go to college.
Many years ago, I co-wrote a script with two female lead characters. A reader at ICM (International Creative Management) who gave coverage on it said that scripts like ours would never exist if it were not for Sex and the City.
Hmmmm, I am a female living in Hollywood, is it really that strange that I would write a story about women in a big city?
Aside of having strong female leads and being in a city, nothing else in the script was like Sex and the City. Our characters are a generation younger and wander through the gritty underbelly of a city, not the upscale shi-shi side of Manhattan. The female and male characters are based on real people and many of the incidents are true, yet the reader said they are unbelievable.
There are millions of women who live in big cities, yet we can only have the one specific subculture that is represented in Sex and the City?
Talk about being put in a box!
A large untapped market of women would pay to see stories to which they can relate, stories written by women for women. I’m not talking about Lifetime television movies wherein all the women get stalked and killed. I’m talking about real inspiring women and fun stories that men can enjoy too.
The new box for any female screenwriter trying to break into Hollywood is the stripper blogger Diablo Cody Juno box. Now, female writers would not exist if it were not for her, right?
Half the population are women!
In 80 years of Academy Awards, from what I can gather, only three women without male writing partners have won an Oscar for writing and zero non-white male.
In 1930 and 1932, Frances Marion won for her scripts The Big House and The Champ. 71 years went by before the next solo female writer was to win. Sofia Coppola, daughter of the famous award-winning father Francis Coppola, won for Lost in Translation in 2003. And for Juno, Diablo Cody won in 2007.
In 219 years in America, all the presidents have been Caucasian men.
Racism, sexism, xenophobia, and many other prejudice are alive and sustaining. When you decide to take up a career in Hollywood, be prepared for this road block.
My modest estimate from working in Hollywood for a decade is that 85% of screenwriters and directors are white male. It is a boy’s club to be sure.
For the few race and gender exceptions who break through, seldom are they recognized for their talents, and often they are picked apart and scrutinized.
One of the most beautiful, creative, and intelligent films I have seen is Frida, for which director Julie Taymor did not get nominated.
Endless untapped talent is ignored and rejected out of fear and ignorance.
Who do you envision as a terrorist? Who plays the funny sidekick? Who is the drug dealer? Who plays a thief? How about the gangster? What people are needy and weak? Who knows martial arts? What is a sexy line of work? What color does the bad guy wear? What color does the good guy wear?
Each of those questions prompts a stereotypical image in your mind of a specific race and gender; how do you think those images got in your mind and who put them there?
If you don’t know drug dealers, don’t write about them, because in my hometown, the drug dealers were not Black, they were Caucasian.
If you are going to write about strippers, you ought to know some, because you will see that they are not all pretty and their lives are far from glamorous.
If you are going to write about terrorists, go beyond what is current propaganda, because all the Middle Easterners I know are spiritual loving prosperous Americans who deserve kindness from their neighbors, not suspicion and crappy movie roles.
One successful Iraqi man I know living in Hollywood (who looks just as white as any European and uses a fictitious name, like half the Hollywood Middle Easterners I know) recently lost nearly all of his family to the hands of Americans in his homeland. With sadness in his heart, he holds no grudge and comes to work everyday with a smile on his face, glad he is alive and in a position to make money to send back home to the remaining survivors.
You will not see current heartbreaking stories like these on the screen because America and Hollywood do not want you to know. Furthermore, the American public will not pay to see such movies when they are losing their own sons and need an enemy for justification.
As a screenwriter selling to Hollywood, don’t sell your soul by being part of the suppression machine that teaches hate to the subconscious. Know about what you are writing from first-hand experience. Turn stereotypes upside down. Dig deep in your research. Let the light shine.
A commendable war film project directed by Clint Eastwood are the two films Flags of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima. With an honest and respectful approach, two entire films are dedicated to showing the perspective of each side, the Americans and the Japanese. This is a beautiful endeavor.
For screenwriters who are not white male and not in a position of power, I strongly suggest making your own films. With today’s technology and the Internet, cost of filmmaking is affordable, and the want of the public will speak for itself.
Choose to have a positive effect on the world.
[In the comments section, you may read additional discussion brought forth by Friar about the overplayed stereotypes placed upon white men.]
9 Tips to Improve Your Pitch Meeting
by Jaden
The producers like your treatment or screenplay, but now they want to know more about you and if you have any other good projects. Will you have longevity in the business or was this a one-time creative spark? What matters most is that you sell yourself if you want to sell your story.
Smile some.
Smile genuinely with your happy eyes to show that you are amicable, but not too much that you seem silly, giddy, or nervous.
Be confident.
Everyone loves confident people. Confidence is attractive. Accept your flaws as part of your interesting character. Focus on your strengths and why someone else ought to have confidence in you. Do not voice these things, just have them in mind and believe in yourself. You don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to be personable.
Do not brag or boast.
Bragging and boasting are signs of feigned confidence that show you don’t believe in yourself, but you’re trying real hard to convince everyone else in the room how great you are. Be straightforward about your accomplishments, not arrogant, snobby, or long-winded.
Be concise.
Practice all your story pitches and get each pitch down to two sentences. That should be enough to sell it if the story is any good. If they want to hear more about the story, they will say, “Tell me more about that one.” Also, reduce your writing experience and life story to a paragraph or two at most. Write out these things and remember them. Join in on our Sunday Picture Posts to practice brevity and creativity.
Put a lid on it!
Ask questions and listen. Do not babble or you will annoy your prospectors. Even though they want you to sell yourself and your story, they don’t want to hear your personal dramas or complaints. They want to hear how you are going to make them a lot of money and nothing else. When you hear yourself rambling, just stop. If they ask you personal questions, keep your answers positive and short to one sentence.
Show respect.
Appreciate everyone in the room who has taken time out of their day to give you a chance. Shake their hand and thank them for their time and mean it.
Never give up.
As it has been said, each rejection brings you closer to the win. Ask for feedback. Find out what went wrong and why. Learn from your mistakes and change by the next meeting.
You are ‘it’.
Every time you walk into a meeting, everyone wants you to be ‘it’. If you are the person with the talents for which they have been seeking, you just made their day better, possibly even their year and their life. Your great success means their great success. Show them that you are ‘it’ and you have what they want.
Glowing, confident, talented, lovable people have the ‘it’ factor.
If you were going to give someone a million dollars for a story, what would you want to know about that person?
What I would want to know is that he or she is interesting, cool, creative, original, positive, eloquent, articulate, polite, grateful, experienced, and has common sense. This meeting is your chance to prove those things by your behavior, the way you talk, and what you have to say. Would these people want to sit with you in a room ever again?
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