Australia the Movie Reviewed by Euro Geezer
by Euro Geezer
*MOVIE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW*
The bombastic film Australia, written by director Baz Luhrmann, writers Stuart Beattie, Ronald Harwood, and Richard Flanagan, and starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman, is a big budget epic with one cliché after another.
If you don’t have a large film knowledge or you like to spot old movie plots and characters, you may very well enjoy this colossal mashing of classic Hollywood cinema.
Most characters are stolen from old classic films.
From Charlie Chaplin’s The Kid we get the far too lovable boy, Creamy, who is running from the authorities.
Nicole Kidman’s character directly takes from the celebrated role of Liz Taylor in Giant. Australia replaces Giant‘s Texas scenery, as Nicole plays the beautiful spoiled rich lady trying to survive on the dirty desolate ranch. She even sings “Somewhere over the Rainbow,” like Liz Taylor did, but it is so bad, you can’t believe they left it in the movie.
The Evil Cattle Baron who killed Nicole’s unfaithful husband takes over the town by betraying his friends and murdering his enemies. The villain shows vicious cruelty to the local natives and to everyone else. Will this bad guy get what is coming to him? You know he will because everything is soooo predictable.
Hugh and Nicole (like Humphrey Bogart & Kathrine Hepburn) go on an impossible mission to cross the Australian desert with a zillion cows while being set upon at every turn by the Cattle Baron’s hostile assassins full of exciting stampedes and narrow escapes. Are we watching The African Queen?
Finally, just as our heroes reach their destination safely, Japanese planes bombard them and set everything ablaze in a spectacular fire. The locals engage in heroics. The Yanks arrive. Sound familiar?
Biggest fault? The long nude love scene. In this kind of romantic epic, all that soft core porn was in my old geezer opinion, extraneous, though girls will enjoy Hugh Jackman’s undulating butt probably nearly as much as I liked Kidman’s bobbling boobs and rippling thighs — better than looking at a dish of chopped liver, sure. All that hot stuff just didn’t fit in the movie though because both characters up to this point are asexual like Lawrence in Lawrence of Arabia.
The annoyingly adorable kid gets shot. Dies. Kidman gets blown to bits in a bomb blast. Dies.
A rescue boat piloted by Jackman comes in the nick of time to save the lovable kids at the orphanage. Are they all dead? Of course not. The kids stumble out of the dust . It’s Schindler’s List. But it’s not over yet. The big non-surprise is yet to come.
Here we think the kid and Nicole are dead — but alas, no! With a happy Hollywood ending, Nicole re-appears: a survivor, covered in dust and blood, but looking gorgeous as ever. The lovers run towards each other. They embrace and go off into the sunset. Presumably they will live happily ever after with the lovable kid.
Oh, but wait, we are not done. There are a few more exciting and improbable last minute events. The murderous Cattle Baron shoots his own son — yes, poor Creamy the kid. It takes more than mere bullets through the heart to finish off little Creamy. He comes back from the dead again. And again.
Clips from The Wizard of Oz with cameos by a young Judy Garland keep cropping up. The song “Somewhere over the Rainbow” is woven into the story as a recurring theme. What can you make of all this mish mash? A Comedy that turns into a Western, then a Romance, then a Civil Rights Struggle, and finally a World War II movie? Yes. It is all of that and more.
As Sir Winston Churchill once said: “Never have so many, with so much, done so little.”
Was Australia bad?
After all that. I’ll bet you expected this old geezer to give Australia a bad rating. Au contraire. In spite of zero originality and total predictability, the reinterpretation and mixed up narrative becomes movie magic.
Australia is a real colorful omelet full of wonderful costumes, spectacular nature cinematography, and grand special effects that enhance the story. In one moment, Creamy stares down a stampeding herd of cows from the edge of a cliff. The camera zooms down from outer space (Google Earth?) as the animals come to a sudden stop. Suspend disbelief and you have an impressive moment.
I think cynics and film buffs (like me) can laugh, cry, and enjoy several moments of high Hitchcockian suspense. Rating: Not as bad as you’d expect. B+
Top 8 Screenplay Contests of 2009 and the Scams
by Jaden
photo credit: pareeerica
‘Tis the season for preparing and entering your scripts into feature screenplay competitions.
This list is specifically tailored for writers who are trying to break into Hollywood and want to submit feature length screenplays of 90 to 120 pages (90-minute to 2-hour movies) that are intended for the cinema screen.
The top 8 screenplay contests that will earn you the greatest prizes and help you break into Hollywood are:
1. Nicholl Fellowships
Up to 5 people will each win $30,000 fellowships from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the folks who do the Academy Awards and give out the Oscars. This is the cream of the crop of screenwriting competitions.
Deadline: May 1, 2009 ~ Fee: $30
2. Samual Goldwyn Writing Awards UCLA
For students in the University of California undergraduates system only. This is an exceptional opportunity. First place wins $15,000. Second place wins $7,500. Other prizes as well. Great recognition.
Deadline: June 1, 2009 ~ No Fee
3. Zoetrope Screenplay Contest
Francis Ford Coppola’s motion picture production company Zoetrope offers $5,000 to the grand prize winner of its Screenplay Contest, plus excellent Hollywood industry exposure and opportunity.
Early Deadline: August 3, 2009 ~ Fee: $35
Final Deadline: September 8, 2009 ~ Fee: $50
4. Slamdance Film Festival
$5,000 grand prize and industry exposure.
Early Deadline: April 27, 2009 ~ Fee: $40
Final Deadline: June 15, 2009 ~ Fee: $50
5. Austin Film Festival
Drama and comedy feature screenplays win $5,000 each. Other prizes available for other categories of scripts.
Early Deadline: May 15, 2009 ~ Fee: $40
Final Deadline: June 1, 2009 ~ Fee: $50
6. Final Draft’s Big Break International Screenwriting Competition *
Big Break Final Draft Screenwriting Competition offers the winner $15,000 plus other prizes. Prizes for runner-ups too.
Deadline: June 1, 2009 ~ Fee: $50
* Since this post was written a couple years ago, several complaints have been made about the unprofessional manner and lack of organization of this competition. It was listed for its prize money and notable place in the entertainment community, not for its reputation. Screenwriter beware.
7. Disney ~ ABC Writing Fellowship
$50,000 annual salary to be mentored on location at the studios and networks for a year. There are other writing fellowships as well: Creative Development, Daytime Television, Latino / Hispanic, and Native Americans / American Indian Arts (IAIA).
Deadline: Summer
8. Nantucket Film Festival
Showtime’s Tony Cox Award for Screenwriting receives $2,000 plus a month long, all-expenses-paid retreat on the island of Nantucket. A select number of writers are invited to workshop their feature screenplay projects with guidance from industry mentors. Participating writers live together in an atmosphere of secluded creativity at picturesque Almanack Farm, perched on the edge of Nantucket’s cranberry bog conservation land. In addition to intensive one-on-one feedback sessions, writers and advisers enjoy a sociable colony experience over dinners and island outings.
Deadline: March 13, 2009 (Passed) ~ Fee: $50
Script Contest Scams
There are lots of script competitions that charge a high entrance fee, give a small (if any) award, and make empty promises they do not keep. There is no point in wasting your time and money on them.
Submitting films to film festivals is much different than scripts into screenwriting competitions. With a film in a small local film festival, the potential for gain is there because, if nothing else, you have a fun theatrical venue to show your film to friends, family, and strangers.
With scripts, you really ought to target agents, producers, actors, and studios; so if none of them are remotely connected to the the contest, then there is really no point in entering it. You can stage your own reading amongst your loved ones.
Even with big competitions like the ones I list in this post, your script may never actually be read just because of the large volume of scripts and the assigned readers who may never actually read your script.
Recently, a heated debate and small claims lawsuit arose with the well-know Fade-In Magazine. The 4-page article with lengthy comments quote contest winners who report getting stiffed. This article, Fade-In Magazine claims, was the result of an unsound finalist who was already under criminal investigation.
Like all things in Hollywood, despite your talent, it takes a significant amount of luck to win a script contest. Real winners do exist — I have met some.
Hard work, determination, and connections deliver more successful results to writers than any contest, but every now and then, you just have to take risks in life and say, “Eh, what the heck!”
CLICK here for:
2010 Screenplay Contests Deadlines & New Links
*If you have had a positive or negative experience with any of these or other script competitions, to benefit our fellow writers, I beg you to please share your experience in the comments section. Thank you.
$13,000 in Cash Prizes: Slamdance Teleplay Competition
Do you have a new television show idea typed and ready for sale?
THE SLAMDANCE TELEPLAY COMPETITION
$13,000 IN CASH PRIZES
FINAL DEADLINE: MARCH 17, 2009
TOP TEN FINALISTS CONSIDERED FOR OPTION AGREEMENTS WITH
THE GREIF COMPANY AND ACT III PRODUCTIONS!
SPONSORED BY:
THE GREIF COMPANY
Leslie Greif is one the most prolific writer/director/producers in the business. He is creator and executive producer of Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels, Discovery Channel’s Planet Green Series, Battleground Earth: Ludacris Vs. Tommy Lee, and most recently Female Forces, Rookies, and Eddie Griffin: Going for Broke. Greif executive produced and directed the Emmy nominated documentary Brando, an Official Selection at the Cannes and Tribeca Film Festivals.
and
ACT III PRODUCTIONS
Norman Lear has had a distinguished career as a producer, director, comedy writer, screenwriter, political and social activist, and philanthropist. Mr. Lear’s numerous television credits include Archie Bunker and All in the Family, Sanford and Son, Maude, Good Times, The Jeffersons, Mary Hartman, Fernwood 2Nite, and Palmerstown U.S.A. His motion picture credits include Cold Turkey, Divorce American Style, Fried Green Tomatoes, Stand by Me, and The Princess Bride.
SLAMDANCE AND SPONSORS ARE LOOKING FOR ORIGINAL, UNIQUE AND INDEPENDENT PILOTS IN DRAMA, COMEDY, GAMESHOW COMPETITIONS AND UNSCRIPTED FOLLOW DOCUMENTARIES.
Please visit the website for details: http://slamdance.com/writing/teleplay.html
20 Best Film Festivals to Enter Your Film or Script
by Jaden
Got big dreams?
Submitting to film festivals is one of the best ways for an unknown person with no connections to break into the film industry. It’s a relatively painless procedure that could change your life forever. What if you get accepted? What if you win an award? What if you receive an offer? You’ll never know unless you try.
The objective of entering a film festival is to be recognized for your talents — preferably by someone from Hollywood who has the power to jump-start your career, right?
With so many film festivals vying for your attention, which ones do you choose to spend the time and money entering?
The following 11 film festivals are legitimate big time film festivals where lots of Hollywood powerhouses, professionals, and celebrities will be in attendance.
8. São Paulo International Film Festival
For more intimate and supportive niche film festivals, check out these:
3. San Francisco International LGBT Film Festival
7. American Black Film Festival
8. San Diego Asian Film Festival
9. Screamfest Horror Film Festival
What are your experiences with film festivals and which are your favorite?
Good luck with your entries!
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