Script Snip: Annie Hall
For your education in screenwriting, in the Script Snips section are snips of classic, cult, award-winning, or just plain bad screenplays. You be the judge.
“ANNIE HALL”
Written by Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman
EXT. MANHATTAN STREET-DAY
A pretty Manhattan street with sidewalk trees, brownstones,
a school; people mill about, some strolling and carrying
bundles, others buried. The screen shows the whole length of
the sidewalk, a street, and part of the sidewalk beyond. As
the following scene ensues, two pedestrians, indistinguishable
in the distance, come closer and closer toward the camera,
recognizable, finally, as Alvy and his best friend, Rob,
deep in conversation. They eventually move past the camera
and off screen. Traffic noise is heard in the background.
ALVY
I distinctly heard it. He muttered
under his breath, “Jew.”
ROB
You’re crazy!
ALVY
No, I’m not. We were walking off the
tennis court, and you know, he was
there and me and his wife, and he
looked at her and then they both
looked at me, and under his breath
he said, “Jew.”
ROB
Alvy, you’re a total paranoid.
ALVY
Wh- How am I a paran-? Well, I pick
up on those kind o’ things. You know,
I was having lunch with some guys
from NBC, so I said… uh, “Did you
eat yet or what?” and Tom Christie
said, “No, didchoo?” Not, did you,
didchoo eat? Jew? No, not did you
eat, but Jew eat? Jew. You get it?
Jew eat?
ROB
Ah, Max, you, uh…
ALVY
Stop calling me Max.
ROB
Why, Max? It’s a good name for you.
Max, you see conspiracies in
everything.
ALVY
No, I don’t! You know, I was in a
record store. Listen to this- so I
know there’s this big tall blond
crew-cutted guy and he’s lookin’ at
me in a funny way and smiling and
he’s saying, “Yes, we have a sale
this week on Wagner.” Wagner, Max,
Wagner- so I know what he’s really
tryin’ to tell me very significantly
Wagner.
ROB
Right, Max. California, Max.
ALVY
Ah.
ROB
Let’s get the hell outta this crazy
city.
ALVY
Forget it, Max.
ROB
We move to sunny L.A. All of show
business is out there, Max.
ALVY
No, I cannot. You keep bringing it
up, but I don’t wanna live in a city
where the only cultural advantage is
that you can make a right turn on a
red light.
Click here to go to IMSDb for the full Annie Hall script.
I Am a Writer
by Jaden
For burgeoning authors, one of the hardest hurdles to jump is being able to say the words, “I am a writer.”
The most commonly asked question by new acquaintances is, “What do you do?” This is the defining moment in relationships. What you say here suddenly becomes everything that you ever were or ever will be.
Squirming and getting queasy, you might claim to be a gigolo or a gift-wrapper or a cracker-jacker, anything to avoid uttering, “I’m a writer.”
Who believes the “I’m a writer” line anyway? Everyone is a writer.
Worse than strangers are your loved ones. Saying “I’m a writer” to your nearest and dearest elicits responses like, “Fantastic, you’ll be poor forever.” Or, “You think you’re special?” Or, “Why don’t you get a real job and work like the rest of us?”
Even though you work eight days a week from the moment you wake until the moment you go to sleep, your friends and family think you aren’t doing anything. People think that because you haven’t showered or dressed or moved from a single spot in three days that you are lounging around drinking margaritas, when the opposite is true; each shower is a half hour wasted that you could be writing.
Writing is a sap-drippingly slow process. Writers dread giving up any time to clean, eat, socialize, or even go to the bathroom. They long for the day when they can say “I’m a writer” and feel confident about it because they are actually getting paid for it. Anything that does not contribute to that goal, ie. anything that is not writing, is a bother and a distraction.
All those hours and years you slave away with only the support of a small handful of people, then all the sudden, you are an “overnight success!”
No, you were a closet writer.
The moment you acquire fame or fortune, those same people who didn’t believe in you will be telling everyone how you are their buddy. Companies will throw more free stuff at you than you could ever begin to imagine. Invitations to events pour out of chic faucets into your hands. And everyone will want to know how you did it.
How did you do it?
If you never say you are a writer, how will anyone ever know you are a writer? How will anyone pay you for your writing if no one knows you write? At some point, you have to start saying, “I’m a writer.”
My new Internet friends have recently been making comments about wanting to be writers. Full to the brim with creativity, writing and editing, these people run their own websites. I tell them, “You write everyday; you are a writer.”
Just because you are not making money at writing, does not mean that you are not a writer. If you love to write, you spend every waking hour writing, and you can relate to this article, you are a writer.
In these modern times, we feel that our worth is based on how much money we make or how much traffic comes through our website.
There are mediocre writers who make millions and unknown geniuses who make nothing; they are both writers.
Income only defines a writer to people who are unable to assess quality on their own.
How good of a writer you are depends on your natural talents, how much you practice, and how much you educate yourself. Just like with any art, career, or sport, you get out of it what you put into it.
The sooner you can say, “I’m a writer,” the sooner you will be a writer.
Think about this. Every famous writer came out of a womb, had a childhood, grew up, felt lost in the world (probably), and ultimately came around to express him/herself through the written word. At some point, each of these people had to stand up to everyone and say, “I’m a writer.”
Being passionate about writing and spending the bulk of your time writing makes you a writer. Whether or not you earn a living at writing is up to you.
Sunday Picture Post 6 / Tip: Read Out Loud
For The Sunday Picture Post, we are going to flip upside-down the saying: “A picture is worth a thousand words.” Thousands of words are great if you are writing a novel, but if you are writing a screenplay, you need to do the opposite and be as concise as possible.
Each Sunday I will post a picture. For your screenwriting practice in brevity, in the comments section, please post one or all of the following:
- 1 word describing the theme, mood, or scene
- 1 sentence to describe the scene
- A pitch to sell the entire movie
The more colorful and creative you are, the better! Use any genre.
A good screenwriter is laconic, using a few words to say a lot.
SCREENWRITING TIP OF THE DAY: READ OUT LOUD
What we hear in our heads as we write is different from how people actually talk. What flows naturally in words on the computer screen does not necessarily flow naturally in pictures and sound on the movie screen.
As mentioned by actress Azita Ghanizada in her interview, an easy and powerful way to improve your script is simply by reading it out loud. This is essential for dialog. It is also helpful to catch grammatical errors and flow issues with the action descriptions.
Reading out loud alone is good, but having someone else read out loud is even better. This way, you can listen and make changes as you go, as well as get a fresh perspective.
If you can arrange it, have a person who meets the description of your character (age, gender, race, social standing) read the dialog.
For major improvements, you could hire a real people cast for the day to do a reading of your script. If you don’t have the money to pay, you would be surprised to find out how many people would respond to a free Craigslist posting just to have something weird to do for the day and to meet new people.
For believable diverse voices, ask your readers to reword dialog in their own way; you will have far more real-sounding characters.
In a cafe, I overheard a screenwriter and a Rastafarian type guy working out dialog. It was fun for me to hear them and clearly very effective for their script. Alone, the young white male Californian screenwriter would have never been able to properly capture this Jamaican’s true voice. In this case, it seemed from what they were saying that it was the reverse situation, where the Rastafarian had hired the screenwriter. [As a screenwriter, if you are strong on story structure, for example, you might get hired for a job like this.]
Reading out loud is free, easy, and will help you to write a better script.
Script Buzz: The Mask of Manolo by Alveraz Ricardez
by Jaden
My website and services are geared to help people make a screenplay sale in Hollywood, a Hollywood that I would like to see change.
Part of my personal life mission is to elevate people and stories that have something positive to add to the world.
With so much negativity, selfishness, violence, xenophobia, ignorance and emptiness to combat, every bit of clever positive brilliance needs all the momentum and support it can get.
We have to entertain to educate. Film is a powerful tool that can be used for good or evil. There have been stories throughout time that have moved people and changed the world forever, some making the world worse, some making it better.
As writers, we can’t all write those special stories, but we can at least try.
Alveraz Ricardez submitted 
a script to me this week called The Mask of Manolo. Knowing nothing about him, I expected the usual fledgling screenwriter with little to say and much to learn.
What I received with The Mask of Manolo was a wonderful script based on 500 years of literature, intermixed with pop culture, and psychological issues that span all humanity. All of this was presented in a rapid-fire entertaining story full of quick-witted dialog, introspective poetry, colorful relatable characters, vivid imagery, and a wacky adventure. By the title, you can guess that this adventure story has a Spanish flavor as it travels through Mexico and the south-western United States.
Alveraz’s love of literature and understanding of people is evident from his script. He also clearly understands that to reach the public, you must entertain.
For confidentiality, I can’t tell you any details about the story, but I truly hope he makes a sale with this script and that it gets made into a movie quickly because I am desperate for my friends and family to see it!
Crying by page one, laughing by page two, The Mask of Manolo is an emotional roller coaster that can help people to better understand themselves and others. Artistic and poetic, it also has potential for mass appeal. It is campy, silly, and fun, while also being profound with intellectual merit.
The best part about this script for whoever the lucky producers shall be, is that it is relatively cheap to make with potential to make a lot of money. This is a winning combo that any studio would love to have.
Wishing Alveraz Ricardez the best of luck. This is a movie I want to see!
You may learn more about Alveraz Ricardez at his kicking website:
“Zampano Films delivers lasting independent cinema. We strive to transcend the standard, indifferent movie experience and bring you independent film that is not only entertaining but innovative and engaging.”
For serious inquiries only, if you want to throw buckets of money at Alveraz Ricardez (like he deserves), you may contact him directly at:
a l v e r a z 1 (at) y a h o o . c o m
Chapter 27 Murders John Lennon Again
by Jaden
The internal life of a famous murderer is an interesting high concept screenplay that is usually an easy sell, 
but for some reason, Chapter 27 is not appealing to the critics. The reviewing public (possibly Internet users born after 1980 who do not comprehend the importance of John Lennon or for what he stood) seem to like the film.
Why kill? Why kill a peace preaching person who is adored by the world over? It is the burning question we all want to know and why we would go to see a movie like this. Does this movie answer that question? A little bit.
There are many conspiracy theories and endless explanations for John Lennon’s death. He was one of the strongest voices for peace of all time who was globally in conflict with politicians and religious leaders. Many see Lennon’s death as the end of a major movement towards peace.
Chapter 27 is about Mark David Chapman who went to New York, stalked, and killed John Lennon of The Beatles. This story takes the angle that Chapman’s mentality floated somewhere between mental illness and religious zealousness.
Not mentioned in Chapter 27 is why would a Christian hate the peace-loving Beatle?
On March 4, 1966, Lennon said to the London Evening Standard, “Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I do not know what will go first, rock ‘n’ roll or Christianity. We’re more popular than Jesus now. Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary.”
Did the young 25-year old religiously-turmoiled killer Mark David Chapman know about this statement in 1980? I don’t think Chapman was even a Christian yet when Lennon made that comment.
Chapman was obsessed with J.D. Salinger’s outstanding book Catcher in the Rye wherein the narrator goes on about how “phony” everyone is. According to Chapter 27, Chapman decided that Lennon was a wealthy phony and should therefore be killed.
Relating the ever-inspiring Catcher in the Rye to this sicko is not something I enjoy having in my brain file. According to Leto, for rights reason, they were unable to use much of what was written in the screenplay that tied the murderer’s actions and thoughts to the Salinger novel. Thank heavens for that! I’m already traumatized.
Whereas I thought the title Chapter 27 was a reference to law and murder, researching the matter, I discovered otherwise. Catcher in the Rye has 26 chapters, so supposedly Chapman was writing the 27th chapter with John Lennon’s death. Also, John Lennon is said to have been into numerology and multiples of 9. Lennon and his son were born on the 9th and he wrote a few songs with the number 9 in the titles. His first home address was 9 Newcastle Road. Lennon was murdered in the evening of December 8th in New York on what would be the 9th in his English homeland. (27 is 3 times 9, in case you didn’t do the math on that one.)
Author Robert Rosen wrote a book called Nowhere Man: The Final Days of John Lennon that elaborates on the numerology. Rosen states that the movie’s title “comes from the section of the book called The Coda, which includes Chapter 27. The producers claim to have based their story on the Chapman bio Let Me Take You Down, by Jack Jones. The problem with the Jones book, however, is that it doesn’t explain how 27 numerologically connects Chapman and Lennon. As has been reported in Mojo magazine (and various other publications), only Nowhere Man fully explains what Chapter 27 means.” The Coda section, Rosen explains,”is based on original research, including interviews with people who’d interacted with Chapman outside the Dakota. I also attended Chapman’s court hearings, but I did not interview him.”
Before Chapter 27 was made, a British version of the film called The Killing of John Lennon came out by writer/director Andrew Piddington, based on official court transcripts, journals, depositions, and interviews with Chapman himself. On a small budget, Piddington’s film faired a little better with the critics than Chapter 27, but it was still met with mixed reviews. Piddington welcomed the “controversy, adverse criticism, and scorn.”
Watching these kinds of movies about real killers makes me a bit uneasy because I don’t want to be part of the machine that glorifies and encourages freaks. Oh yay, you shot someone, wow, you are really f’n special. Way to make a name for yourself.
Here’s the clincher that really chaps my hide. Not only does this murderer of one of the greatest most beautiful musicians of all time get to live, but Chapman is also currently eligible for parole! Ain’t that a kicker? And who has been paying for this guy to live in prison for the last 28 years? Us! The American taxpayers. Chapman probably costs us about $4,000 a month; more than we spend on ourselves! I don’t get it.
With so many important issues to discuss, the hour long interview I attended with Jared Leto (where I was clearly not the one asking questions) only focused on the actor’s weight gain for the movie.
In two months, Leto gained 67 pounds for the role and required a wheelchair because he was so out of sorts and had troubles walking. To gain the weight, he said he stuffed his face with fast food constantly. On the Internet are reports that he drank pints of melted chocolate ice cream and olive oil — aack!
How exactly he lost that 67 pounds, Jared never really answered. Was it cocaine? Anorexia? Bulimia? Carrot juice? What? All that his interviewers and presenters kept saying was that he was “sick.” My friend said that there is probably some secret Hollywood drug diet that they don’t want leaked to the press. I don’t know, but actors sure do turn it around quickly. Jared joked: Like a pregnant woman, the bulk of the weight came off quickly, it was those last few pounds I couldn’t get rid of.
Jared said that no one forced him to gain the weight, that he chose to do it himself and that it really helped him to get into the psyche of his character. The weight altered his gait, his voice, and his emotions. At the end of the work day, there was no going home and taking off the uniform.
By the time I saw him, Jared was as skinny as a rail again. How he lost the weight — who knows?!
Jared Leto and Lindsay Lohan give quality believable performances that truly merit recognition.
Writer/director J.P. Schaefer’s screenplay Chapter 27 is not faulty, it is just not great. It plainly walks us through three days of a mildly disturbed person’s life.
I could not find out much information on Schaefer, but Leto said he was 20 years old when he wrote and directed the script. Schaefer looks much older in pictures, but if he is or was young, then he did a pretty good job with Chapter 27, all things considered.
The fact that writer/director Schaefer was not even born yet when John Lennon died could explain his irreverence to the human being who is now a mythical legend.
To be fair, I don’t have a negative review of Chapter 27. If it was not John Lennon about whom we are speaking, if it was not someone who gave his life to worthy causes and who charmed the world with his gift of music, if Chapter 27 was just another stalker movie, I would tell you that it is a fine movie.
The problems I have with Chapter 27 are 1) who we are talking about here, John Lennon, is far too important to be a nonentity in this film, and 2) there are far more interesting and in-depth ways to tell this story.
As a film unrelated to the truth or a real person, it is a satisfactory movie. Though it would not get as much press, I would have enjoyed this film far more as fiction with a man who stalks and kills an undisclosed celebrity. The way this story is told, and because we don’t see or learn anything about John Lennon, it could have been anyone. In this case, it would have been to the filmmakers’ advantage to make it fiction.
Writing this review makes me feel sad and empty because I want to give credit to the filmmakers and actors for their valiant efforts, but something feels wrong about it; there is a lack of respect. The film and its entities come across as purely financially driven and naïve.
Someone as special as John Lennon warrants a better explanation for his untimely death than what Chapter 27 bestows upon him.
A distant dead star, John Lennon’s brilliant light continues to shine, and no little energy-sucking black hole is going to snuff it.
photo credit: Atari, Gracinha & Marco
